Dumped & Divorced

Condoms, Minivans, and Fire Alarms: One Post-Breakup Adventure

• Natalie & Maressa • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Turning heartbreak into celebration, sisters Natalie and Maressa share the unforgettable story of "Mayo de Maressa" – the weekend that transformed what would have been Maressa's wedding day into a joyful adventure with friends. When Maressa's engagement ended just months before the wedding, her support system rallied around her and embarked on a weekend of responsible fun that culminated in a late-night hotel party and an unexpected fire alarm evacuation.

The sisters dive deep into how recovery from heartbreak looks different for everyone, with candid conversations about one sister's hoe phase, being proactive during casual encounters, and finding moments of connection even during difficult transitions. They don't shy away from discussing the importance of open communication and mutual benefit in any sort of relationship, comparing them to "group projects" where everyone needs to contribute equally for success.

The episode takes a poignant turn when the sisters discuss their mother's recent move from the family home – the last house their late father had lived in. This physical transition represents the closing of a significant chapter in their family's life, bringing both sisters to tears as Maressa shares the touching story of taking their father to see the new house while he had just got out of the nursing home.

Throughout their emotional rollercoaster, Natalie and Maressa emphasize the importance of mental health check-ins, acknowledging that healing isn't linear – some weeks you make progress, while others you simply survive. Their weekly reflection reminds listeners that it's okay to have moments of stagnation as long as you remain committed to the overall journey of growth and healing.

Ready to laugh, cry, and feel less alone in your own journey? Listen now and join the sisters as they navigate life's complexities with humor, vulnerability, and unwavering support for each other.

Maressa:

Tap, tap, tap, tap tap tap. Oh, that was literally on par with like what you were. I was saying tap, tap, tap, tap, tap and you were tapping. It was pretty, pretty cool.

Natalie:

Well, we are live so we're just going to roll with it.

Maressa:

Welcome back, guys.

Natalie:

Welcome back to episode five. Five of Dumped and Divorced. Dumped and Divorced, a podcast by two sisters. My name is Natalie.

Maressa:

And my name is Marissa.

Natalie:

And we are here just to be your podcast besties. Okay, so one thing I wanted to address real quick is the sound quality from last week. It was a major irk for me and Marissa. We don't know what happened, so this week we hope that it worked itself out.

Natalie:

Maybe we had a setting wrong and we didn't realize it. Hope that it worked itself out. Maybe we had a setting wrong and we didn't realize it. So, anyways, thanks for listening in and increasing your volume when needed, because Marissa sounded like she was a mile away. Sometimes I sounded like I was a mile away and then, when I tried to increase it, the white noise in the background amplified. So it, um, it was not up to par to what our standards.

Maressa:

our standards are, yeah totally and a lot of people that listen to it they're like, oh my God, it was totally fine and we appreciate your positivity and, you know, being kind. We, I guess, just hold ourselves to a standard of wanting to be sure that we provide you guys with clarity. But we are self-producing, we are editing, we're doing this as newbies. And I was telling one of my girlfriends and she was like I laughed, I loved it, and I was like, oh my God, thank you so much. And one thing I told her was I was we were really disappointed in the last episode because of the audio quality. And she said you know, but I love that because in a way, it reflects your growth experience. And she said this is another growth experience for y'all. So literally we're going from zero to a hundred in this learning podcast journey. So I loved that she tied that in because it really helped us, helped me think like okay, don't be too hard on ourselves because we aren't pros and we're just rolling with it.

Natalie:

Yeah, we oftentimes are our greatest critics right.

Natalie:

And, yeah, this is something that we're doing in my kitchen dining room table area with, um, you know, home stuff. So we're no professionals, no, we're not sponsored, but this is our way of, you know, coming and talking and just letting other people understand that life isn't perfect, yeah, so, anyways, I'm also going to be honest, as you're just like staring down at me, marissa, this week, normally we try to, marissa had mentioned in past episodes that we don't have a script per se, but we do come with agendas and like some bullet points that we want to talk about and general concept of the episode, because we value the time that you're spending listening to us and we want it to be of, you know, be of value. Didn't I just say that, though? We value your time?

Maressa:

You did Okay. You valued your time.

Natalie:

So we appreciate you know you spending time with us, so we want to make it worth your while and at least have some solid topics to dive into. With that being said, we don't have shit.

Maressa:

But yes, okay, but I mean. But another thing is we have very good conversation and the moment we have something that we talk about, we flow very well. Like a lot of people can't say that when they have conversations with their friend or their sibling that it flows as easily as it does with us. And I think that's the beauty of our banter and relationship is that we can start talking about something. And then our brother made a joke and was like you guys kind of sometimes go off tangents, but then you can come back on topic.

Maressa:

So that's, that's who we are Right. And that's, and that's kind of how we're flowing with our, our, our podcast.

Natalie:

Yeah, well, that's also you too. Um, when you were telling me about a date you've been on recently, you kind of said that that, like you were, that's just who you are. Anyone that has conversations with you or interactions with you. Um, you do, you are very engaged and do try to circle it back and listen. Yeah, yeah, you're not just hearing them, you're listening and you're trying to connect and also that's like your professional. That's kind of what you've done in for many years. Yeah.

Maressa:

And my career yeah.

Natalie:

So that's, that's a big strength that you have. Yeah, I like to.

Maressa:

I'm like, very empathetic. I'm an empath and I like to be. I guess I've taken what I've done in my professional journey and career as a trainer, as an enablement trainer, where I need to be in line with the reps I'm working with and so I need to have them feel, you know, welcome to come to me on any questions they have. And I guess one of the trainings I took to be a better trainer, the irony in that right is you have to really maintain eye contact, listen to what they're saying and truly digressing it and maybe, you know, adding some hand movements to it so that you're not just like stiff as a board. And I think I take in that into my day to days with like conversations with my friends and, you know, know potential suitors when I go on dates, I guess. But I'm big on maintaining eye contact, understanding and like asking questions back right, making them know that I am hearing what they're saying, or even flipping a question from a question they've asked me, open-ended questions, and also just making them feel understood and heard.

Natalie:

I think that's something really big I do and that's kind of where our conversations go from you know Like that's where it stems and you know, sometimes I get a little too deep into, like the Like you don't try too hard, but you just feel like you want to just keep asking that at next question. It is kind of hard to pivot. It is Especially when you're meeting someone, or although we don't necessarily have an agenda for today, there's plenty of stories that we can share.

Maressa:

Oh my gosh, so many stories and just current stuff that's happening in our lives. We've definitely, like, pivoted on some things Natalie and I are learning on. You know how to communicate to each other as sisters. I think this podcast has not brought intention between us, but understanding some boundaries and also very clear communications, which I think can reflect back to relationships as well.

Natalie:

Yeah, so it's similar to a group project, right? So I started. You almost have to think of relationships as group projects, right, there's going to be somebody that it has to be mutually beneficial to all parties, right? And you know, in college you would have these team projects and group projects and then there will be that one person that didn't do shit and then had their name on the on the paper, on the packet.

Natalie:

And you're like fucking a like, for example um, you're going to roll your eyes at this, but we play. Me and our friend play this game.

Maressa:

What friend I need to know? Who Are they a listener?

Natalie:

Yes, they are a very high. What is it? Active listener, active listener, y'all play a game without me, we do. We've tried to invite you to it. It's a farming game, oh my gosh, oh, oh, my gosh.

Maressa:

Okay, I feel like we can give her a shout out. This is Jess Um. Hold up. I was for some reason I thought y'all were doing a game like against me, about, about me and like y'all are like, but you're talking about like a literal game on your phone. We became obsessed with that game and anyways in our co-op oh my gosh, one time I kicked somebody out of our co-op.

Natalie:

Oh my gosh. One time I kicked somebody out of our co-op and Jess was like you're savage. I'm like, well, I don't want her reaping the benefits of all this stuff. Well, I haven't really been active in the game because I've been a little busy.

Maressa:

What if they kick you out?

Natalie:

Exactly Well, luckily it's my co-op.

Maressa:

I created the co-op, the red temperament in me and jessica's in there, and I'm going to I cannot wait for her to hear this and be like hell, yeah, you mentioned our farming game and I'm gonna murder you, because they try to talk about this in our group chat. And I also want to point out, since we're on the topic, there's always that three group, three person group chat. That is absolute savage and that is our group chat. Our group chat name is very inappropriate and it's just the stuff we say in there is just off the wall, unhinged, and it's hilarious. And then when I'm trying to talk about something that's like exciting or funny, they're like oh, are you farming? And I'm like what, why the hell are we talking about a damn phone game? Okay, like I want to talk about this situation I'm in, or the situation ship I'm in and I'm like talking about fun, fun, engaging things, and y'all are like I just farmed and I got five stacks of hay or whatever the hell it is that you do.

Natalie:

It's building a farm, Anyways, going to township in your co-op, we kick somebody out. And because I kicked somebody out because she wasn't doing anything like who was this person?

Maressa:

don't know. You're a stranger people.

Natalie:

Yeah, these are all virtual, these are random people what? Yeah, so anyway I passed my reins off to jessica that's hilarious because I just didn't have time to be the leader anymore.

Maressa:

And she is the queen now is that what you guys call yourselves queens, or you're the leaders?

Natalie:

but I call her the queen. I passed off the torch to the queen and she kicked somebody out. And I was like, wow, why'd you kick somebody out? And she said the exact same thing that she didn't want this person getting like points and dollars and tokens and rewards, but not doing anything. So again, group projects, right. So you always have somebody, whether that's in an iPhone game or in college or in a relationship, any sort of situation that you are having to work with someone.

Natalie:

It has to be mutually beneficial to all parties and communicating those out right. So we were talking about how this kind of created some not tension, but we have had to hash things out a couple of times because this isn't just snap your fingers and an episode is produced, it's uploaded and it's ready to go, Right. I mean, we have some areas of opportunity and we're still trying to learn it all out. Then throw in the fact that mom sold her house, moved into a smaller house.

Maressa:

I have stuff there, Everyone has stuff there because we've all moved, we've all like kind of like mom's, mom, mom and dad's home and essentially was our like home base, like if we needed, like it was just stored random stuff it was there and, like all three of us, have had stuff at that house.

Natalie:

Well, yeah, I mean like I when I divorced and sold my house. I downsized and a lot of my stuff is in her stuff like not even in her storage unit, just in her house. So it was, it's been a. It's been a long week.

Maressa:

So today's Thursday, the day before Friday, I was gonna say you didn't have to let the people know yeah, so we have to, we're recording and we're literally flipping in within 24 hours. Yes, recording, editing and launching.

Maressa:

So um, and it's just been, but we wanted to deliver an episode because it because again last week last week's audio was just so triggered not triggering, Gosh, that's a very wrong word Last week's audio was just so bad for us that we were like we have to provide another episode and we are trying to. We are trying to stick to that weekly launching of episodes and other than like our first, second episode, where we took a break for personal reasons, but we just were like we're going to do it regardless of the time crunch, but we're going to make it work, because you do have to make things work, you have to make sacrifices and compromises and that can go back to relationships, sacrifices and compromising is huge and communication Yep and so and I will say I finished, um, the let them book.

Natalie:

Yes, I'm like two chapters away. Um, even though it's a great book, non-fictions are just still so hard to to get through. Like, I'll get through a couple of chapters and I'm audio booking it and I feel like I'm gonna have to go back and reread it because I'm more of a C versus here listener.

Maressa:

Yes, yeah, I'm, I'm such a physical book and I've mentioned this before I can't listen, cause I will then do something and then not pay attention to the audio and be like, oh, that was a really important part. I need to go back and listen.

Natalie:

But in that book she talks about communication and like how your influence helps change other people and how, um you know, asking open-ended questions and being present, like, set it. Like, if you, um, if you want someone to change, right, if you want someone to be more present and they see you, like, for example, me and my family, my children, if I would tell them, hey, don't be on your phone, don't be on your tablet, they can't see me on the phone, right. So it's just, I don't know it. A, it is a great book. Um, now to the juicy stuff. Why don't we? Oh, juicy stuff. I mean, there's nothing juicy for me, but is it me?

Maressa:

are you? Are you wanting me to tell the audience some fun stories?

Natalie:

well, I'm just gonna say, um, why don't we tell our favorite story post breakup? I mean yeah, like in this chapter?

Maressa:

I have so many Okay.

Natalie:

If you had to pick one. I know that you went through, I'm just going to say it. You went through your ho phase after your divorce. My divorce, you mean my breakup.

Maressa:

Your broken engagement, oh my gosh, yes.

Natalie:

You went through your ho phase and I supported it.

Maressa:

Yeah, you supported it, your girlfriend supported it.

Natalie:

I mean, I was very impressed with you because you went to the health center and you provide. You got like yourself a bag of condoms.

Maressa:

Oh my God, okay, and you, you came. You were prepared. I was prepared, yes, cause I'm not about to like. I like, if you go through a ho phase like you, gotta be smart and protect yourself, and so and you protected yourself in many ways.

Natalie:

However, it's very you know. People don't need to assume that the man has to provide the protection. Correct yeah, and sometimes yeah. So has that anyone thrown anyone off when you were like I have a condom?

Maressa:

No, um, there was one guy that was like oh, I appreciate that, like I have them too. But I like, oh, I appreciate that, like I have them too, but I like I think that's really smart that you have one, yeah. And I was like, yeah, it's just, I don't do.

Natalie:

I mean, do you have like different sizes?

Maressa:

oh, my god.

Natalie:

Um, I'm just now thinking of like are my family that's listening to this, and mom and some friends, and well, I'm not asking about the sizes of people's and mom and some friends, and well I'm not asking about the sizes of people's eggplants.

Maressa:

You're not asking for the size of the eggplant. But you're asking like what? What I do?

Natalie:

I just do well like, what did they give you? Did they give you just a bag of like unicite, like not unicize?

Maressa:

um, unicize, they just gave me a bag of um, just regular, like off-brand, normal sized um, I don't know. I mean there are different sizes. Yeah, of course there are, and I took the extra precautions because I did say I was like I had a crazy summer. I just want to make sure everything's good.

Natalie:

I mean, and you brought that bag with you to a lot of places. It was a brown bag, it was. It was a brown bag like a brown paper bag full of cotton Not full, I mean, at least like a brown paper bag full of cotton, not full, I mean at least.

Maressa:

But I will say that that bag has been provided for other people, not just myself. There was a time I provided, I went on a trip and I gave my condoms to Puerto Rico when you were in Puerto Rico. I remember you telling me that, yes, I hooked up a buddy. It was so funny because I was telling him I was like I brought these for me and it wasn't like me and him, like we were not attracted to each other, um, but he was vibing with somebody else and you were like I got you.

Maressa:

He was vibing with someone else and I was like don't worry, I got you bud and I provide. I slid and he was like you're amazing. Thank you so much.

Natalie:

Well, it's almost like you if't bring condoms. There's a high. You know there's that you manifest it.

Maressa:

You're like, oh, do I.

Natalie:

So you don't want to assume that you're going to go out to get laid, but you have to be prepared.

Maressa:

And it's like yes, I did have. Yes, I provided condoms for some friends, and it's just, you know, there was a trip. And then there was another scenario where I just happened to have one and I knew my girlfriend was trying to hook up with someone and I said I got you, girl.

Natalie:

Oh, didn't you also do that? Oh, when we were in Ibiza last summer there, was a bar.

Maressa:

It was in Barcelona.

Natalie:

And it was like the number one rated bar in the world.

Maressa:

The number one bar for 2023. So it was like a year later it was Sips in Barcelona and Chad got us in. It was crazy because we went to the number one and the number three bars worldwide. He like had a friend that hooked us up, knew the owners and put us on the list and we ended our night at Sips and I think we went to the bathroom and they had a plethora of condoms on the wall and I was like this is. I took it as a souvenir, not necessarily to use I just was like this will be my Barcelona memory.

Natalie:

Yeah, so no, I think that, um, you know, spain is a. Spain holds a very special place for us. Um, we have some fun in Spain. I just feel like when you're on vacation, zero fucks are given oh, a thousand percent.

Maressa:

And I I did make a comment how I was on hinge in Spain at one point, oh yeah, well, I mean, you see it on TikTok, oh my god, the men in.

Maressa:

yes, it was literally night and day and like, granted, yes, like when you're in a city you kind of see the same people and so, like when you're in a new city, you like see, I hate this sounds so mean, but it's like a fresh set of batch of men and men. I was like, wow, we got some really good options here. I was like the bachelor and bachelorette franchise would thrive in a European country for sure. Oh, they would, because of just how attractive all of the men are and women.

Maressa:

There's a lot of pretty people there.

Natalie:

Yeah, vero Euro. Yeah, well, back to what I was asking you of all of the men are, and women, there's a lot of pretty people there. Yeah, they're a euro, yeah, yeah, well, um, back to what I was asking you is my favorite story? Your favorite story, like if you had to say you know what guys, I had a really shitty year. I was with my man for seven years and then he dumped me 60 days, 90 days days, before we got married. Yeah, but then this happened and you know, I mean it sucked. It sucked between that day and that experience, but like what was your one memory experiment?

Maressa:

Experiment, I would have to say okay, I'm just going back to this because I keep on going. La Perla, no, okay, okay, it wasn't. I mean, la Perla is like a top two, top top three for sure.

Maressa:

Um, it was the like Charlotte Mayota Maresa. Yes, that was the most so. Mayota Maresa was like a hashtag. Our girlfriend, jess, the one that we mentioned, she kind of taglined it. So I was supposed to get married in May and so, instead of my wedding weekend, we got out of Atlanta because your wedding was going to be in Atlanta.

Natalie:

Yes, so that was the whole purpose of us leaving that weekend.

Maressa:

Yes, so we got out of Atlanta, we went to Charlotte because at the time Jess was living there and we rallied and Jess, like, taglined Maya de Maressa, natalie at the time, was driving a minivan, so we were all in her minivan and she decked out the minivan and we wrote with the window paint like we do, like senior year, you know, and you're like hashtag seniors 06 or seniors 11, whatever I just gave us our age. Well, we already said our age before, but yes, 06 and 11.

Natalie:

But we I don't know where I saw it, I think I saw it on Instagram that someone did like a bachelorette and they wrote on the windows and they created a Venmo or renamed their Venmo and people were donating and we did that for Marissa. It was my Venmo and it was renamed Mayade Marissa. It was, yeah, renamed Mayade Marissa.

Maressa:

And.

Natalie:

Marissa was like don't do it. That's so dumb, natalie. Because again she had, just like this was a trigger day, right, like it was supposed to be her wedding day that she had dreamed up and, you know, had all essentially, basically ready, and I was like, no, let's do it, sis, let's do it. So we did it and I don't exactly remember the number that was donated, but your people, our people, mostly your people, but like some of my friends, our family, yeah, like they threw in twenty dollars, but when you have, you know, a hundred people throwing in twenty, thirty dollars for a drink, yeah, it adds up.

Maressa:

Yeah, we had a lot um.

Natalie:

I want to say it was like five hundred dollars or maybe more no, no, no, no, it was like close to like.

Maressa:

A thousand twelve, thirteen hundred dollars of donations we received for us to go and rally and, and we don't worry those, those, the donations were.

Natalie:

Dollars were put to good use.

Maressa:

They were put to all of our drinks and it was the best time we we had the funnest time and, um, my other girlfriend, ken's, like she was like going with a vibe and so she told us all to wear like bright colors and diamonds and pink and stuff, and so I had this like obnoxious pink dress and it was funny because while we were out and about and just drinking and day drinking, people were like oh my God, what are y'all celebrating?

Natalie:

Is it a bachelorette? Is it a bachelorette? No?

Maressa:

I was like I was supposed to get married today but I am not and I'm getting drunk, and like everyone was just hyping us up out and about and then onto the night of we went so freaking hard. It was just a memory I can never let go and I'm just like so grateful because instead of thinking and like moping and being like oh, today I would have gotten married. Like I'm so sad.

Natalie:

We spent our day like doing rooftops and I will say just a disclaimer, there was not one of us that threw up.

Natalie:

There was not one of us that was like so belligerent, like we were so in tune, responsible, like when I say we go out and have a good time, mom says it all the time. You don't have to drink to have a good time. And yes, we were drinking. However, I was there and I'm like you're like the mom of the group. I was, I mean, also the oldest in the group, because these were mostly your friends yeah but, um you know, we kept it and I was also going through some shit.

Maressa:

I was like yeah, ptsd because yeah like a week after my just started my separation?

Natalie:

yeah, but um, anyways, it was that.

Maressa:

Oh yeah, so basically, oh, you finished telling the story well, we we ended up just having a party in our hotel room afterwards, like we were the people we were hanging out with throughout the nights. Like we're like, come back to the hotel, we have more drinks.

Natalie:

But I think you're missing an important factor here.

Maressa:

I was going to try to avoid that one I think you're.

Natalie:

you're missing an important factor here that we went to dinner. We went to a nice restaurant, um and I'm, it was like Indian oh, I don't even know.

Maressa:

It was not Indian, it was like it was.

Natalie:

Mediterranean. But like weird it was it was.

Maressa:

It was a nice restaurant, it was. I remember it was.

Natalie:

I do think it was kind of like roomie yeah, like roomies.

Maressa:

Okay, maybe like Persian.

Natalie:

You're Persian, yeah, so I don't even know what it was called me either, but anyways, our Me either, but anyways, our server was a man and our server it's very attractive, you know he was hyping Marissa up the whole time.

Maressa:

He was giving me shots. He was making sure I had drinks left and right, like he was he was providing that man ate.

Natalie:

Isn't that what the excerpt right? Like the little kid say they ate. Isn't that what the uh excerpt generate? Like the new debate? The little kids say they ate. So he, he was the icing on the cake, the cherry on the whipped cream, on the sprinkles on the cake of what would have been Marissa's wedding day, and you know that was a memory that you're going to forever think about. Is is that right? Like us taking you to Charlotte and you?

Maressa:

rallying Partying my butts up my butt, my butt, my booty off. Partying my booty. That sounded weird. Let me repeat, repeat that Partying my booty off.

Natalie:

Yes, yes, so yeah, that, yes, yes, so yeah, that was a good, that was a good one.

Maressa:

I actually was surprised that you weren't going. You didn't take that a little bit further?

Natalie:

well, I'm trying to yeah, no, I know. I don't want this to be like. I don't want people to misunderstand what we do, like we're not hoes definitely not me, you know.

Maressa:

I mean you're borderline, but oh my god, um just kidding, I will. I will embrace on my, on my face.

Natalie:

I'll repeat that so I don't want people to misunderstand us. Right, we talk about having a good time, we talk about, um, letting loose, but at the same time, we are always responsible. Yeah and um. That is like. I feel like that's all that needs to be shared. We shared, you know, he came back to the room and we had a party. We did.

Maressa:

We had a party.

Natalie:

I mean the fire alarm out of all of the nights and out of all of the hotels. The fire alarm ended up going off and it was maybe like three in the morning and I woke up in a panic because I'm like where the fuck is Marissa, when the fuck is Marissa.

Maressa:

So, eventually, everyone evacuated the hotel right, because there was a fire, there was a fire.

Natalie:

And here comes Marissa in her little like baby kitten heels with the little um fuzz, fuzz fur, you know, on top very Paris Hilton-y. And uh, I just mosey on out of the hotel and y'all were in your pajamas, yeah, and you were still rocking your dress, you were still rocking your heels, and he's right there beside you and y'all were just hanging out, yeah we were yeah, but the funny thing is is that y'all thought I I pulled the fire alarm, we thought you did.

Maressa:

No, I didn't. Um, there was actually a prom going on at that hotel and we think that, like yeah, we think something like it was like a prank because there was a prom. Yeah, there was because someone thought I was going to prom. Oh, someone was like, are you in prom? And I was like, do I look? Do I look like I'm still in high school?

Maressa:

okay, you just knocked off 15 years no at least five seven, seven or ten, seven to ten, but yeah, no, someone thought I was going to prom and I wasn't. But there was a prom going on in that hotel and we think that, or at least that's what I think, because I did not pull the fire alarm. If I did, I would have a thousand percent told you guys, but um, you're 29, so yeah, like 11 years yeah if you, if you take yeah, so my my favorite moment post breakup.

Maressa:

So, and it will forever be, everyone who went knows it was a time, yes, it was a time, so but what about you?

Natalie:

You know, I think this wraps up our episode.

Maressa:

Natalie's like. I don't want to say my story Well, for reasons like I get it, yeah, but you also have had some really good times and some fun times too, so don't discredit that. But you know our journeys were running beside each other through it, mm-hmm.

Natalie:

So, yeah, I will say that summer is, I think, naturally the easiest time for me to be more free in my like, just dating or being more I don't want to say reckless, but doing that Cause. Like, if you think about it, we go to a lot of concerts, we go to a lot of um, you know we go down atlanta, but I don't know, in the winter it's just kind of hard to well, there's that seasonal depression like as soon as, like I've been seeing memes and instagram like I'm no, I'm defrosting I'm def.

Maressa:

Yeah, like I'm about to enter my like yes, I'm exiting my seasonal depression phase and I told I mean there's people who take medication for that. Like like being like winter and fall just makes them really sad and mopey, and like, once you have sunshine and vitamin D, you're just like so much happier.

Natalie:

Yeah, cause right now I have no interest in like doing anything scandalous or fun, I mean. I'm ready to start going to the wineries, I'm ready to start going down to Atlanta and going to the Barcelona bar and just you know, like places like that, that we always try to spend time at in the warmer months.

Maressa:

So the belt line we, our brother, lives on the belt line and so we frequent the belt line and like walking the belt line is always really fun.

Natalie:

Yeah.

Maressa:

So we're thawing.

Natalie:

We're thawing because it's funny, because our birthdays are in January, so like we like start the year, like hyping ourselves, up like yeah, we're going gonna celebrate birthdays and then we're in that low February, march, yeah, and then April picks up, and then, you know, spring break so, anyways, you're dethawing yes yes well, I, um, I think that was a good little fun episode.

Maressa:

Yes, pivoting from the last one and, you know, hoping that our audio issues don't reoccur, and if not, then we're rolling with it.

Natalie:

We are okay, guys, so hopefully you know, oh, didn't then we're rolling with it. We are Okay, guys, so hopefully you know, oh didn't. We say we're going to do something like every week what we're working on our mental health.

Maressa:

Yes.

Natalie:

Okay, let's finish. Let's wrap it up with that. I'll go first. Give you some time to think.

Maressa:

No, I have a couple of things.

Natalie:

So this week for you this week for me.

Natalie:

I, um, I really I can't say that I went to the gym or the sauna, so I'm kind of need to spend some time there this weekend. However, I think what I did was just be present, like trying to show up for the family and mom during her move. I also feel like I'm suppressing a lot of stuff because mom's move you know that was the last house dad was in and um, I think I'm probably just I haven't done much mentally this week, so cause I know that I have to sit in it. So right now I'm just sitting in this um space of unknown. So this week I didn't do anything and that's going to be okay, right, because there's going to be weeks that you're really trying hard to work on your mental health and emotional balance and all that stuff. But, as someone who suffers from blacking out essentially when there's so much going, on mentally blocking out, blacking out, whatever it's called.

Natalie:

I don't even know if there's a scientific term to it, but as someone who suffers that self-diagnosed um. I, you know I just needed to kind of have this week be low, be chill.

Maressa:

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I would say very similar. Um, and I actually had um a conversation with a girlfriend and I said um, this week has been really stressful because not only is my mom moving and downsizing, but she's starting a new chapter and essentially, like you said, natalie, that the house she left, or she the house she sold, was the last house that was with our dad, and I'm trying not to get emotional but, it was really tough to know that that chapter for mom is officially closed and that was the last house that dad was there.

Maressa:

There's a beautiful story to that. That dad did see the new house my mom moved into when he was in the nursing home. We actually had a showing and I took him. I was riding my new car. I was really happy. Oh yeah, he saw my new car and he was like Marissa, we actually had a showing and I took him on a ride in my new car. I was really happy. He saw my new car and he was like Marissa, this is your dream car. And I was like it is, dad. And so he was like it's nice, I like it.

Maressa:

And I remember the song that was playing and in my new car, there, um, I have Apple car play. Yeah, um, I have Apple car play. In my old car I didn't have that and there was one of his songs playing and every time that song plays I just vision dad in my car and we were going to the new house that mom was building and I said, dad, I'm going to take you to the new house. And he was like, ok, and he was singing along to that song. It was called Carol. It's like a 1950s song. It's very old school. I was listening to the best of 1950s and Spotify so dad could hear it and at the time the house driveway was not paved.

Natalie:

It was gravel. It was gravel and it was framed, but it was the foundation and the bones of the house were there.

Maressa:

Yes, and so I took dad to the new house and I said, dad, this is going to be your new home. When you guys sell, this is going to be be it. And I took dad four-wheel it off-roaded with his wheelchair.

Maressa:

I remember that time I said, dad, we're gonna it's gonna be a little bumpy, but I want you to see the house. And I rolled dad into the new house and he saw the layout. So technically he was there. He was there, so he saw that the new house that mom's gonna be in, and I think that's a beautiful um thing.

Maressa:

And so, going back to what I'm working on, it's been really hard because I've been taking a lot of mom's grieving Personal, personally, and I'm trying to protect mom. I'm trying to do too much to make sure mom is okay and it's also affecting me. But I'm going to be better. I'm going to focus on myself. I have a lot of things I'm looking forward to this year.

Maressa:

I've given myself some soft deadlines on things and I'm telling myself that I'm going to achieve these things so that mom could also live a happy life and, you know, start this new chapter as a widow. And so I'm going to focus on that this week Because I've taken so much of mom's yeah, you've done you. I'm going to focus on that this week because I've taken so much of mom's yeah, you've done you like, yes, it's been hard and I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself and then you know, on top of my personal life and my work life, like there's just been a lot going on in that sense. But I'm going to focus on training for this race I'm doing, and so we're just going to shift and just focus on more of my training.

Natalie:

Take baby steps to get where we want to. So okay, let's wrap up so that we can wipe off faces of the tears. I don't have any tissues nearby.

Maressa:

It's okay, but thank you guys for tuning in. That went from a happy episode to sad.

Natalie:

Yes, but that's the emotional rollercoaster that we live on.

Maressa:

So as always.

Natalie:

We appreciate all of our listeners. If you feel inclined, please follow the show on the podcast platforms that you do so that you see the new updates when we release new episodes. But then if you want to leave us a review, we would also appreciate that.

Maressa:

And we are active on social media, so follow us on our. Instagram Okay, working on that, working on that, but we are on Instagram and media. So follow us on our Instagram. Okay, working on that, working on that but we are on Instagram and we also post some stuff on Instagram as well, so be sure to like, follow and subscribe. And again, thanks everyone. So much for your love and support and we will see you next week. Yes, okay, bye, toodles.

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Maressa

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Natalie

Host