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Dumped & Divorced
Love is the greatest thing ever...until it isn't. When two sisters experienced relationship trauma through a broken engagement and a divorce after almost a decade of marriage, hosts Natalie and Maressa learned to lean into each other to make it through a life changing time. Dumped & Divorced is a space where they will talk about life after heartbreak and the redemption through it all. A space where you can come to hear stories about the hard stuff. In hopes that you feel less alone in any hardships you might be facing. Tune in weekly as we tackle topics of healing, rebuilding, self-love, and finding strength in the aftermath of life’s most difficult moments. Follow the show on Instagram @dumpedanddivorcedthepodcast
Dumped & Divorced
Dear Broken Heart, You Didn't Break Me
Two sisters unveil their hearts through letters written to their past selves in this emotionally raw episode that captures the essence of healing after heartbreak. Natalie and Maressa's vulnerability reaches new heights as they share deeply personal reflections that brought them both to tears during recording.
Natalie's letter speaks to rising from the ashes like a Phoenix, acknowledging that sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together. Her powerful reminder that "you are enough right now, as you are, always" resonates as universal wisdom for anyone navigating life's unexpected turns. Meanwhile, Maressa confronts her broken engagement head-on, tracing her journey from sitting in shattered dreams to becoming the happiest version of herself three years later.
The sisters dive into how different their healing journeys have been—Maressa's clean break with no contact versus Natalie's ongoing connection through co-parenting—while emphasizing the importance of protecting your peace through whatever method works for you. Their candid discussion about mental health practices provides practical insights for listeners seeking their own healing paths.
As they announce the approaching conclusion of Season 1, with summer break plans and the excitement of nearly reaching 2,500 downloads, the sisters reflect on what this podcast journey has meant to them. Their authentic discussion proves that revisiting past pain from a place of growth isn't about reopening wounds, but rather celebrating how far you've come.
Whether you're in the depths of heartbreak or years into your healing journey, this episode offers both comfort and inspiration. Listen now, and consider what you might write to your past self if given the chance to speak across time.
Okay, we are live and we are ready, so welcome back guys.
Speaker 2:Hi, welcome back.
Speaker 1:Welcome to dumped and divorced. We are two sisters who talk about life after heartbreak.
Speaker 2:My name is Natalie and my name is Marissa, and this is our podcast.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is so welcome to. This is episode number 13,. Lucky 13. Yes, and sis, you want to tell them what's on deck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so today, in today's episode, we are going to read that letter to our 2022 selves. As you recall, natalie mentioned, you know, having the idea of writing a letter to what you know, our previous version of who we were in 2022, as like a reflection, right. And then our follow-up to that is to write each other letters, which I feel like that might be a little emotional, because you know we're talking about I'm talking about you, nat, and you're going to be talking about me, and we're going to be kind of witnessing how much growth we've had from that version of ourselves. And then we're going to wrap up season one because we're going to take a break for the summer a much deserved break and lots of fun things, right and obviously, when we come back, we will have still fun and juicy content.
Speaker 1:Yes, so we've discovered that a lot of people do kind of take breaks and we're taking our break following the school calendar. It makes the most sense and it gives us an opportunity to reset. Even though this is a fun little therapy for us, it's still work right. We do this all ourselves, no one's paying us, and we're putting a lot of ourselves out on our sleeve for other people to listen. So we want to keep doing that and I think that having breaks is healthy. So, yeah, we're going to take the summer off and then start back. Oh, but we will do this. So we'll finish out May and then we will do one episode in June, towards the end of June, and one episode in at the end of July. Okay, to kind of recap, like we'll kind of do a monthly check-in and then, um, you know, in August when school starts back, we will get started again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it'll be officially season two which is crazy. I feel like this is a huge milestone. I actually was going to see if we hit our other achievement on the app of the downloads, so let me get that pulled.
Speaker 1:I think that we are like we're less than 75, from hitting 2,500 downloads, sorry, yeah, so that's a lot of people that have listened to either one of our episodes or all of our episodes. And we see you, we know where you're from. It's all over. You know United States, all over Spain, the world, you know all the. We have several continents. We appreciate you guys being on this journey and you know hearing us as we chat and ramble about life after heartbreak. That's our little tag.
Speaker 2:Yeah, life after heartbreak.
Speaker 1:We'll go with that, absolutely Okay. We'll go ahead and just kind of dive right in.
Speaker 2:Do you want to read the letter to yourself first?
Speaker 1:No, I can read mine. Okay, wait Before we do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what do you want to do?
Speaker 1:So I haven't read my letter to Marissa yet. Marissa hasn't read me hers. Um, I didn't get into like specifics. I didn't say like. I kept it really general. I was just like your world is about to change, like I wasn't. I didn't go into specific details, did you?
Speaker 2:No, I didn't either. I mean I mentioned, mentioned, I mentioned like what I was going through in that moment oh, okay and it was like, well, no, why don't we just, why don't we just read each other's our letters? Because we both, like, followed the assignment, how we anticipated or how, like we followed directions. And we still did write each other a letter. But your point of view and my point of view just might be different, and I think it'll still be a beautiful letter and reflection.
Speaker 1:Okay, so who wants to go first? You want to rock paper scissors?
Speaker 2:We're going to rock paper scissors, Okay, so the person who loses goes first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the winner goes second.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's just one round, we're not doing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then you shoot on rock paper scissors Shoot.
Speaker 2:Rock paper scissors Shoot. Okay, yeah, okay, ready, ready.
Speaker 1:Rock paper, scissors Shoot. You saw me like get the paper ready. Okay, I did paper, marissa did scissors, so I'm going to read my letter first.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, ready, yeah, okay, dear younger Natalie, I'm thirsty. Okay, I know you're full of questions. Some you're brave enough to ask, others you carry quietly waiting for the answers to show up on their own. Life won't unfold the way you expect, and that's okay. This year will be a year, trust me. It turns out better in ways you can't even imagine right now. The dreams you once had will become a distant memory. The people who held a place in your heart will become strangers. The friends who you leaned on when you needed a shoulder to cry on will disappear as if they no longer existed.
Speaker 1:Younger Nat, one thing that you will be quick to learn is, when something doesn't feel right, listen to that intuition that has been there the whole time. You know what your worth is, so go on and get it. Learn to listen to that inner voice, even if it trembles at first. That voice will guide you to places where you will feel more alive, more honest and most at peace. There will be a time in your life that everything will fall apart, but here's the things. Things do, in fact, fall apart so better things can come together. You are like a Phoenix through the fire and ash. You will rise. I know you're probably are scared, shitless, just hearing you tell you this. You will be fine, I promise your kids will be fine and your heart will heal.
Speaker 1:You will make mistakes, but don't let them define you. Every stumble teaches you something. Every failure makes you stronger. Be kind to yourself. You're doing better than you think. I know that, deep down, everything you did was because you were doing the best for you at that moment, and some of those mistakes will cause for great turmoil, but again you will rise. Stop worrying so much about what other people think. Their opinions don't define your worth, especially those that you once had close to your heart. Value the people who truly see you. Let go of those who will only show up when it's convenient. Time is priceless. Spend it with those who make you feel safe and understood. You'll change, and that's a good thing. The dreams you have now are going to shift, and that's not failure, it's growth. Keep learning, keep loving, keep showing up. And one last thing you are enough right now, as you are always, with love and understanding your future self.
Speaker 2:Natalie, that was beautiful. I loved that. It was so good. Was it good? Yeah, I mean, it's so true. Though I mean like really like listening back to that, it's like, wow, there's a lot of truth there.
Speaker 1:It's kind of just generic.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But because also, when we've had our cards read before and they don't tell you exactly what it is like, they kind of give you stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Speaking of cards, jennifer reminded me of something that the girl told me, and she thinks it's somebody I'm talking to right now. She said that I'm like there was like a revelation of me, like being with somebody and it was insinuating, like it was a very vague like person in my life and she thinks it's somebody I'm with right now.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, but anyway, I mean yes, like when you are going to like those types of like cards and like, they just give you general things, because I guess too is they don't want to put something in your mind, and then you obsess over that, and then think like like it's not going to go that way, because this is what she said.
Speaker 2:It's like a very vague, like kind of a molding way where it could. If it goes one way, it's like okay, there was some truth to that, and if it goes another way, you're like I could also see where that truth came from.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, I'll that's interesting because, like she did tell me that my heart was very philanthropic, yeah Right, and thinking of, like, the career change that I recently did yeah, that's also-.
Speaker 2:My gosh Right.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow.
Speaker 2:Okay, I feel like we need to have like an offline conversation about our cards so that we can really dive into it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just kind of connected that dot. Yeah, anyways, that was my letter to myself.
Speaker 2:I loved it. It was beautiful. Nat, you did a great job.
Speaker 1:Thanks Okay, now it's your turn.
Speaker 2:Okay, so mine and mine is serious, like mine is more so 2022, but there's like a broad version, like broadness of it. Okay, dear younger Marissa from three years ago, I know your heart feels shattered. Right now. You're sitting in what you would have thought was your forever Years of shared memories, hopes and plans gone in a moment, Four months from the altar and everything unraveled. I remember the silence in your chest. I remember the silence in your chest, the confusion, the guilt and the ache that no one else could see. You're wondering how something so carefully built could fall apart and what it says about you. And here's what I want you to know this isn't the end. Why am I getting emotional? I don't have a freaking tissue. This isn't the end. I lost my place. It's the beginning of a version of you that you couldn't have imagined.
Speaker 2:Back then you started therapy, even when it was very hard to speak through the tears. Ie right now. You learned that your worth was never tied to someone staying. You peeled back layers of pains, patterns, old beliefs that told you love had to be earned or held onto at any cost. You stopped blaming yourself for things you couldn't control and instead you took ownership of the one thing you could your healing. You found your voice. You softened where you used to harden. You learned to sit with your own company and actually enjoy it. You let yourself laugh again, real deep laughs that came from freedom of not walking on eggshells anymore.
Speaker 2:You built boundaries and kept them. You cried when you needed to. You rested when the world would feel too heavy. You loved yourself with the same patience and care you used to give away so freely and slowly you realize you are no longer trying to get over it. You were rising because of it. So I'm writing to say I'm proud of you. You didn't just survive the heartbreak. You used it to grow, to deepen and to return to yourself. You are so much more than the love you lost. You are the love you found in your own strength, your own voice and your own heart. It does get better. You get better and you are so incredibly worth it.
Speaker 1:With all my love, your future self oh my gosh, yours was so good, I'm crying. Yours was so good. Yours, like you went. You like you. You wrote about it. You wrote about the heartbreak. I didn't want to write about the heartbreak, I just wanted to write about, like, the year.
Speaker 2:And just because I, I didn't no, and yours is a little bit deeper and like you're protecting that part Right and I think like you wanted to be a little bit broad in that sense, but with me, like I have nothing to lose Right, like I'm very vocal about my broken engagement and I'm no longer embarrassed of it, like I'm, I want to talk about it because I want to bring that normalcy to it. And I dug really deep and I felt it and that was so beautiful, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, that was so good, that was so good, I will say I feel like I've been really killing it in my like notes to self.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cause last week was Nicole's wedding and I felt like I did a really good maid of honor speech. So maybe this is me dusting the dirt, getting that dirt off my shoulder, dirt off your shoulders.
Speaker 1:That's so good, marissa, thank you, thank you, thank you. You should definitely print it or save it or not forget that.
Speaker 2:I probably you know what I'm going to think. I'm going to write it in one of my journals and just always have it there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause it was. It's. I mean, obviously it made me emotional writing it and I've read it. You know like that inner monologue in your head where I'm like I'm reading it to myself, but me reading it to you like that wash, like that just like sense of like. I just started crying because it was almost like I'm like releasing that from my, from my body, and it just felt really really good. I actually really enjoyed doing that exercise and I highly recommend you writing a note to yourself to anyone who's listening.
Speaker 1:And I think it kind of goes hand in hand with journaling too, Like how deep you go I was following somebody or watching somebody talk about manifesting and journaling and intent and like the deeper you dive into it, the more honest you are with yourself. Yeah, absolutely Kind of the more truth and the more I don't know it validates itself, kind of.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That was beautiful I loved that.
Speaker 2:Thanks, I loved yours too. Yours was just as pretty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's just different. I mean everyone has their own styles. And yeah, I mean, I think, I think it's a good kind of check to to kind of remind yourself of the pain that you went through. And it's like, especially you, you know you don't have any contact with him, right, so you keeping yourself in check I feel like I keep myself in check every other week when I have to exchange the kids or you know, and I, you know, it kind of it protects your heart, it, you know, continues to set those boundaries and you know it keeps everybody just in the safe space that people need to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally. And like again, my situation is different because once my ex like called off the wedding, broke our engagement, walked out my apartment, nothing like cut ties. Like that's one thing I'm actually very grateful we didn't do Like, we didn't linger, we didn't like keep texting and like saying how much we missed each other. It's like then you would have gotten back together. No, yeah, like what? What's? What's the point? Yeah, I mean, there was a time where again I've mentioned this before we've had to like communicate via text message on like closing out wedding stuff.
Speaker 2:But aside from that, that was immediate. Like like that week, that next week was my birthday, and like I had no contact with him. And I still, to this day, have no contact with him, nor will I, because we just are in two different points of our lives where we have no more connections anymore. And if there is like no one, like no one's like keeping up with the joneses and saying like oh, marissa, just so you know, this is what your ex is doing, I'm like, first of all, no one, like no one's like keeping up with the joneses and saying like oh, marissa, just so you know, this is what your ex is doing, I'm like first of all, no one sends you updates.
Speaker 2:No, if someone does, it's like please don't, because I don't care, like we both have moved on and I wish him well and that's that, like I don't have any contact with him and forever, like I think that's why I'm forever grateful that the way we handled it, you know it was very respectfully and that was that, and like I but I still have to like check myself and be like I, fricking, went through that pain and like kind of almost like not reopening that wound but reopening what it felt like to understand who I am and what I deserve. And I think that's also where, like, my strength comes in, because I really sat in all of those feelings and like reading that letter, it was just so moving and powerful to me because I felt those things and I saw those things. And here I am, you know, three years later, like happiest version of myself I could have ever been so for that, yeah, maybe I'm grateful.
Speaker 1:It's like the movie the Breakup with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, where they were in love and yada, yada. I don't know if they were engaged, but they definitely lived together. And then they saw each other at the end of the movie, passing by, and it was just like a wave, a smile, but it was. It was nothing, you know. Once it was done, once that tie was cut, it was like the invisible string was forever gone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was no invisible string. The string was literally quite invisible.
Speaker 1:No, because an invisible string means that you're still connected to that person.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, you're right so.
Speaker 1:I was going to say, like that string was cut, there was no invisible, like there was nothing keeping you guys together. I feel like with my ex. You know I'm not going to say that there's an invisible string because he's moved on. I've moved on, but we are going to always be connected because of our children. So so yeah, well, that was a really fun exercise.
Speaker 2:I love that you came up with that idea, Natalie. Well, I think it's been like a trend we've seen on the gram. You say that, but I haven't seen it. That's crazy. Okay, well, I'm going to send you one of people and it's more like reels and it's on Instagram. Not the butterfly effect.
Speaker 1:Where there's a picture of the mountains or it's like a naturescape, and then they're talking. Is it something like that?
Speaker 2:No, I've seen a couple where it's just like a video montage and like there's like just them, like words on, like saying, like to my dear future self if I met you four years ago for coffee, like this is what I would like to say to you. And it's like that. Or it's like a video montage with like a text or a video montage and the girl talking over like the video.
Speaker 2:But I haven't seen that Maybe maybe you will now, because our phones listen and then you're going to start seeing a bunch of. It's so crazy how, like, sometimes one day I'll have like a really really like specific for you page, like on, like things I talked about, and then the next day it's like totally different and you're like what is going on with my Instagram?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's just yeah, Based on AI or not.
Speaker 2:Algorithm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what it's listening, and then just the trends, like what people are posting about most that day. Yeah, okay, well next week hold on. You said that did you start therapy yet?
Speaker 2:That was three years ago and I did. I started therapy after my breakup. No, but didn't you say that you were going to start therapy? Yes, my grieving therapist? Yes, Um, I had that worked out so I might have a session next week. There was a couple of things last week going on in my life, like with my best friend's wedding and all of that like taking time off, so I had some stuff in place and so now I just need to confirm, maybe follow through, but I haven't met with the therapist yet. No, but it's in discussion. So still something.
Speaker 2:I need to get done. Well, still something.
Speaker 1:I need to get done. Yeah Well, I canceled mine. I had it. So, being honest, I canceled it. I didn't. I just one. I wasn't feeling that great. I think I woke up with like a severe migraine headache type thing and I just didn't want to make it hurt anymore. You know, when you get like upset and you kind of have to like really think through things, so I I need to reschedule it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, but that's true. Like I mean you almost were doing that to protect yourself in a sense, because when you get upset and you start crying and getting emotional, like it almost like heightens your headache worse. Like anytime I got in an argument with somebody in my life I would have such a bad headache because those emotions are just rummaging through my brain.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I canceled it, but I yeah, well, okay. So what are you doing for your mental health this week?
Speaker 2:This week. I'm going to get for sure, get that session scheduled. I'm still, you know, for me, therapy is also running, running. Still no news on a race news yeah, yeah, still no news on my news. Yeah, which is low-key stressing me out, but it's fine. You know, in the end there's a reason for everything but.
Speaker 2:And then, just then, getting excited for all of our summer activities we have coming up um and getting in a good place there, but I would say for sure, talking to that therapist, that grief counselor I mentioned, and then obviously continue journaling, running, reading. You know all the things that make me like then Find joy, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I, what about you Me? I have been trying to figure out how I can fit the gym into my schedule. So, yesterday I went to like a 5.30 class and it sucked In the morning. No.
Speaker 2:Oh, I was about to say damn girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't. I wish I could go, but I would. The kid gym isn't open that early and that's cruel, so I think I went at 5.30 at night and it was not the best, it's probably packed. Well, it was a whole different set of people. Morning gym people are totally different than afternoon gym people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have to agree to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I did the sauna yesterday and a couple of times this week, so continuing to just focus on that. And then I've been trying to, so I've been gardening we're going to call it gardening, even though I don't really have a big yard. So that has been kind of therapeutic for me, taking care of my plants and yeah, also-.
Speaker 2:You got mom into it, cause you got like you took mom to this place to get a bunch of stuff for her like little yard right.
Speaker 1:She kept saying she wanted color and anyway, so we were revamping her thing. And last I want to just say, damn it, I was going to say something.
Speaker 2:You're talking about gardening, sauna thoughts, gardening.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then I was going to gonna say I have kind of dug into the funnel or like the black hole of minimalism, so I'm like starting to declutter things and I've cut. I when I did that, I came across a whole bunch of cards that were written to me in a different life. So so yeah, we processed those emotions. We got rid of those kind of like burn and release. Remember when you burned that picture?
Speaker 2:I burned a couple of pictures, Thanks to Kenzie. Kenzie was like take all the pictures you have of him and burn that shit. And it was very therapeutic. I will say yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think even after all these years, you're going to have reminders of things, and as long as you can kind of go through them in a healthy manner and not let it bring you back to that place of sadness and depression, then you're doing good things, you're making those steps towards that better self of yourself. Okay, well, I think that's really all we have this week. Next week we will come with letters to you and letters to me from each other, wow, and then anything else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like that also could be a slightly emotional episode. And then just wrapping up season one, which is such a huge accomplishment, I feel like we have really been blown away, with all of our listeners and people reaching out and just telling us that they have been tuning in and us continuing to do this. Right, like a lot of times, people start the idea of a podcast, they do it and then they're like it's a time commitment, our schedules aren't aligning or we're getting frustrated, and all of those things have happened between Natalie and I. We will say and we'll be honest with you guys, but you know, continuing on and providing you guys with episodes has brought us joy and the fact that we could say we're going to wrap up season one is just a really cool thing.
Speaker 1:It's exciting, it makes us feel famous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally. Maybe we'll get there one day. Maybe, but no yeah, I mean, the sky's the limit, right? We just never know. But for now we'll just continue what we're doing. Bring you another good episode next week and then we'll just wrap up May and Dumped and Divorced season one.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, awesome. Well, as always, leave us a review on Spotify or on Apple Podcasts, or you can send us a text or some fan mail. There's a link in the description in the bio. We would love to hear from you, and I hope you guys have a great rest of your week. Happy Friday and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2:Happy Mother's Day to any and all mothers that are listeners. This week is Mother's Day, so happy Mother's Day to you, sis, but I will be seeing you, yes, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, I love you.
Speaker 2:Love you and thanks everyone, everyone again for tuning in. We'll see you next week. Toodles Bye.
