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Dumped & Divorced
Love is the greatest thing ever...until it isn't. When two sisters experienced relationship trauma through a broken engagement and a divorce after almost a decade of marriage, hosts Natalie and Maressa learned to lean into each other to make it through a life changing time. Dumped & Divorced is a space where they will talk about life after heartbreak and the redemption through it all. A space where you can come to hear stories about the hard stuff. In hopes that you feel less alone in any hardships you might be facing. Tune in weekly as we tackle topics of healing, rebuilding, self-love, and finding strength in the aftermath of life’s most difficult moments. Follow the show on Instagram @dumpedanddivorcedthepodcast
Dumped & Divorced
Healing Through Sisterhood: Letters of Love and Resilience
The healing power of sisterhood shines brightly in this emotional episode as Natalie and Marissa read aloud the letters they've written to each other about navigating heartbreak. Their words capture not just the pain they witnessed each other endure, but the extraordinary strength and transformation that followed.
"You didn't just survive that heartbreak, you transformed through it," Natalie writes to her sister, acknowledging how Marissa rebuilt her life "piece by piece" after her dreams were shattered. Meanwhile, Marissa celebrates Natalie becoming "unbreakable" through her divorce journey, protecting her children while rediscovering her own voice and setting powerful boundaries.
What makes these letters particularly moving is the sisters' ability to recognize growth that might be invisible to the person experiencing it. They discuss the difference between merely surviving trauma versus truly thriving afterward – from Natalie's year of reading nearly 100 books as an escape mechanism to Marissa's journey from numbness to renewed joy in travel and experiences.
The conversation evolves into a thoughtful exploration of healing timelines, with both sisters emphasizing that recovery isn't linear or immediate. "Give yourself grace," they advise listeners in similar situations, noting their own growth took years of intentional work. As they prepare to wrap up Season One with just two more episodes, this letter-writing exercise stands as perhaps their most vulnerable and therapeutic sharing yet.
Looking for a powerful healing practice? Consider writing a letter to yourself or someone who's witnessed your journey – you might be surprised at just how much weight it lifts from your shoulders.
Hey everyone, Welcome back. Happy Friday, Happy Friday besties.
Speaker 2:Okay, so welcome to Dumped and Divorced. We are two sisters who talk about life after heartbreak. My name is Natalie.
Speaker 1:And my name is Marissa, and this is our podcast. Yes, it is Welcome. Welcome, episode 14.
Speaker 2:14. Yes and happy Friday. I don't remember if we said that. I think we did, but we tried recording this a couple of times, so it might be deja vu for me. Okay, so quick notes, show notes. Quick notes, show notes this week. Today we're going to read the letter I wrote to Marissa and the letter that Marissa wrote to me. Last episode we read our notes to each other to ourselves. I'm sorry, it was Marissa's dove head on into her one event that changed her 2022. And mine was more generic and broad and you know we thoroughly enjoyed that and we're looking forward to to today's episode where we you know we gave a perspective from a sister's point of view.
Speaker 1:So we attacked head on our point of view of how we went through that year and now we're going to be coming at it from a sister's perspective. So I'm really looking forward to doing this together. I know I personally loved doing the exercise last week and I mentioned this to Natalie before and to some girlfriends that told me that they like thoroughly enjoyed it, to Natalie before and to some girlfriends that told me that they like thoroughly enjoyed it. It was really therapeutic for me to write that and release that, because it kind of felt like I was removing any last bit of that from me and it just it like it was like a wave, like a weight came off of my shoulders, and so I highly recommend anyone you know reflecting and writing things in hardships because you never know, it might really help you hit that turning page.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do think that it is a type of therapy. You know, a therapy. What is it like? Path direction course that focuses on writing and releasing and this was a good practice and exercise?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Before we jump into that, want to just also mention we are wrapping up season one of Dumped and Divorced. For those who have been listening to us since episode one, we thank you. This is a project we took on, you know, beginning of the year, yeah, and we called want to share our stories in parts to let other people know that they are not alone if they are navigating life after heartbreak, divorce, broken engagements, whatever heartbreak you know that you might be experiencing. So, second to last episode.
Speaker 1:Right, so we will have this episode no third. Third to last. Third to last. Okay, so we're having two more episodes after this, so if you haven't tuned in on any previous, be sure to listen Again. You know we're always thankful for the listens and the support, but let's dive in to this episode, this letter. Are you ready, sis? Are you ready to hear me read my letter to you?
Speaker 2:Okay, good, you need to go first, because I went first last time.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're not doing the rock paper scissors anymore. It only makes sense that the younger goes first to read a letter to the older sister. So, okay, so we are jumping in. This is my letter to Natalie, from myself POV. Little sis, so do you have a tissue, just in case? Okay?
Speaker 2:I have a clean sock.
Speaker 1:A clean sock. That's a very interesting choice of things to use.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't have a tissue, so this was on the table. You gave the kids some choices, I gave the kids some choices and they went with the short sock. So the long sock is clean and it's going to be my tissue today.
Speaker 1:And it's a black sock, so at least it could like remove, you know, not stain, it's not a white sock. Okay, All right, I'm ready To my older sister, nat. There's so much I've been wanting to say, and I hope this letter gives you even a fraction of the love and admiration I have for you. I want to begin by telling you how incredibly proud I am of you. You've always been strong, but after everything you went through in 2022, you became something even more powerful. You became unbreakable. That year brought you so much pain, so much change and so much weight to carry, but you stood tall, not just for yourself but for your kids. You protected them, nurtured them and never once let them feel like they were going through it alone. That is the kind of strength that can't be taught. It lives within you.
Speaker 1:I watched you go through one of the most difficult chapters of your life, and yet you emerged with a fierce commitment to protect your peace and theirs. You didn't survive, you thrived and you grew. You set some boundaries and you also rediscovered your voice. You showed us all what healing with courage truly looks like, and in my own hard moments, you never left my side. You gave me space to fall apart and strength to stand up. I will never forget the way you showed up for me All. While your world was breaking, you still held mine together. That's the kind of love only a sister can give. 2022 was one of the worst years of our life, give or take, but somehow it also became the year I saw you become the truest version of you, resilient and radiantly real. And even though the road was brutal, you never saw, you never lost yourself. You protected what mattered most and I know you always will Thank you for being my sis, my older sis. I loved that.
Speaker 2:I loved that so much. That was very beautiful, very beautiful.
Speaker 1:Had to include a little reference to Kristen Bell, because you love Kristen Bell and she was the voice of Gossip Girl.
Speaker 2:I know and honestly I fell in love with Kristen Bell with. I didn't know she was the gossip girl like the narrator. Yeah, xoxo gossip girl. Um, but I love Veronica Mars Like that is my show. I wish that everyone saw Veronica Mars.
Speaker 1:It's just Speaking of Veronica Mars, I mean you also love. Nobody wants this. This, which Chef's Kiss. I'm so excited for season two. I was obsessed. I feel like that show was very relatable for you and I in multiple ways, exactly. But Chad actually just got me hooked on another show with Kristen Bell, and it's so funny because I thought you would have seen it by now.
Speaker 1:The Good Place. The Good Place, and it's like she's like the only like. I mean there's the other male, like one of the older male characters is very popular, like he was a probably mom's era, like older, like 50s to 60s range. He's apparently very, very popular. But those are like the only two big, big actors and it's essentially like hell versus heaven kind of thing. But highly recommend you watch it because it's essentially like hell versus heaven kind of thing. But I highly recommend you watch it because it's kind of like dry humor too right, like some of the stuff they say. It's just really hilarious and apparently, like in the good place, you can't curse, so the F word is fork, fork, fork. So she'll be like what?
Speaker 2:the fork. Maybe I need to watch it. I love Kristen Bell. I love her so much, and she's where I learned some of my wit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a thousand percent. You definitely got some wit from Kristen Bell, so so I guess there's a.
Speaker 2:Veronica Mars. Once I wrap up Scandal, I'm going to restart Veronica Mars again. I will go through that season, all those seasons, the movie and then there's a movie of Veronica Mars.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:There's like three seasons or maybe four seasons and then they made a movie because they they weren't done Like they, the directors, the producers, all that, they still had a story to tell. So it was like fan funded, yeah, through like a Kickstarter campaign and it's good and it, you know, picks up all those years later. But then finally, I think it was Hulu, picked up like the last season, season five, and terrible ending. Hate it so much, but it was like so good Was not expecting you to say you hated it.
Speaker 1:I was like expecting you to be like. I hated the ending.
Speaker 2:I hated the ending Like give me some notebook love, give me some like Nicholas Sparks movie, you know and suppose, uh, the ugly truth. That's also a good ending, but this is not a happy ending, so just breaks your heart, the hopeless romantic in me. Anyways, okay, thank you for writing me that letter. That was very beautiful.
Speaker 1:Like a sliver of my admiration. But I figured try to kept it short and precise and meaningful.
Speaker 2:But you know, I'm your biggest cheerleader. I know, I know and I'm yours.
Speaker 1:What is it? Yeah, I'm ready. And I have tissues, not a sock.
Speaker 2:Okay, dear Marissa, as I think back on everything that you've been through and walked through the last couple of years, I just want to take a moment and put it into words for you. I'm going to go ahead and say that what you went through was life-changing. You had built your life around someone and you created a dream with them for many, many years. However, one day, that dream was shattered and all that you were left with was heartbreak and pain and no answers. But you know what? That heartbreak didn't break you. It knocked you down for a bit, but each day you promised yourself one more step forward, and that is what you did, one day at a time.
Speaker 2:I saw the tears you didn't always let fall, the weight you carried quietly and the strength it took just to get through some of those hard days. But more than anything, I saw the way you chose healing over bitterness, growth over grief, and love, especially love for yourself over fear and the unknown. You didn't just survive that heartbreak, you transformed through it. You rebuilt your life piece by piece, and in doing so, you found joy again. You rebuilt your life piece by piece and in doing so, you found joy again. You opened up your heart to new experiences, new friendships and a new version of yourself that's more radiant and grounded than ever before, and that life you're living now full of laughter, full of adventure and so many beautiful memories which we will keep.
Speaker 2:Pg is proof of that. It's easy to celebrate someone when things are going well, but I want to celebrate you for how you rose in the hard moments, for your resilience, for your grace, for the quiet courage you showed when no one was looking. I'm endlessly proud of you, not just for surviving, but for shining through, for becoming more you than ever, for choosing to live fully and love deeplessly, even after loss. That takes courage, that takes a heart of gold, and you have both in abundance. I love you and I'm so proud to call you my sister. You are, without a doubt, a phoenix. With all of my heart, your big sis, natalie.
Speaker 1:Aw, nat, that was beautiful. Thank you, you're welcome. There is some tears and there was some smiles, for sure.
Speaker 2:Yes. So you know, I think that this is a good like I love how we're ending season one, you know, with good practices, right? Yeah, absolutely, I think this was a great exercise and I think that I don't know, I feel like this gives like it's that release and burn kind of thing. You know, release and forget. It gives you a little bit of closure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in a sense within yourself, right, because you're never going to get closure with the other person.
Speaker 2:And that's all you need. You don't need closure from them. You're also not going to get closure from them in your case.
Speaker 1:No, but I agree I love that we did this later on, right to wrap up, kind of reflect, because while we've been very vulnerable and open with you guys in our stories like it's also good to acknowledge our growth that we've had like that we've witnessed within ourselves and what we've witnessed in each other. So I personally loved doing this exercise it really was I mentioned this before but it was so therapeutic for both, like activities for me, and I'm just proud of us. We're still kicking it and we are true examples that things get better and that you get stronger.
Speaker 2:I don't know what we were talking about earlier, but we were mentioning, like we both referenced, surviving and thriving, or shining, like I think you mentioned, survive and thrive. And I mentioned survive and shine because I think when you I mean it's true when you go through a period of trauma, heartbreak, all of those things, your body and your, your, you're trying to just get through the day. I mean, like thinking back on 2023, basically, that's the year that I've read 100 books, or I think it was like 99 books.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure you read 100, or if not, like you were right at the cusp of hitting it like on New Year's Eve. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I finished the year with Renee Brown's one of her books on New Year's Eve, like I think it was 99, but I got really close and I have it like in my head that's an accomplishment I'm so proud of, a thousand percent. But I haven't ever been like ever since 2023, like last year, I read seven books. This year, I think I've read eight books. Um, and it's not because I don't love reading, because I do, but that was I. I was strictly in my survive, surviving year. You know what it was in 2022 that I read the books, because that's when I that was when everything happened. Exactly that's when I got separated and divorced later in the year and I shut down.
Speaker 1:You kind of lost yourself in a way. You were such a hermit Hermit Hermit is the name of theit, you were such a.
Speaker 2:Kermit is the name of the frog.
Speaker 1:Kermit the frog.
Speaker 2:I was a Kermit, I was a homebody. I didn't leave because I was trying to learn how life operated as me running my family. I mean I did a lot of work even while I was married meaning there's a fly in my house and I see it on the camera Uh, I did a lot of the house manage, like I'm just going to call it like a house management, just making sure everyone is where they need to be and taking people to.
Speaker 1:I did all of that, yeah.
Speaker 2:I did all of that when I was married. However, oh, that when I Clothes face, yeah, I did all of that when I was married.
Speaker 2:However, oh, I see the fly Having having that partner and you know it was it was. It was a warm body and they were able to help me when I needed to go to the grocery store or when I needed to run an errand or when I needed to take one kid to the doctor, like. But the amount of effort that I've had to learn to navigate, to plan, like before I wasn't, I was, I had a planner but I didn't go by my phone, like now if it's not in my phone. I mean, I have everything in there. Actually, I just remembered I need to do something today, but I was in that period of survival and reading the books allowed me to escape and, you know, kind of have some adventure.
Speaker 1:But now I'm able to travel and now I'm able to go out and go to the parks with the kids and not being just numb yeah, you're doing stuff that is making you happy and you're getting that dopamine of an immediate rush of like I could do something without feeling like I'm like in a weird state or like a numb state. Like you said, yeah, and you've, yeah, you've been traveling so much more. I remember when you got on, like you, what, go ahead. Well, I remember like I was doing a lot of traveling and you were like, why, like, you're doing so much traveling and I'm like, yeah, I'm young, like live, a little, like travel. Granted, I was traveling a lot with my ex because we like to travel, but I still travel post breakup, you know, cause that's just brings me a lot of joy Um, but you would always be like, oh, like I can't, I don't want to do it, like I'm stuck in my ways.
Speaker 1:And now look at you like you've done so many fun spontaneous trips and you're taking your kids to other countries and it's just a beautiful, a beautiful growth, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I let my passport expire, so never doing that again.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, yeah, gosh, I know, it was like 10 years old, right? Your passport was like expired in 2015 and we were like 10.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 2015, and we were like no, I yeah. I think it expired in 2014, like a year after my hand, like we did a year, one year anniversary to europe and that was the last time I had been anywhere.
Speaker 1:Really, 2013, yeah I was in that stamp every year.
Speaker 2:I know Literally 10 years, because 2023 was when I went to Spain.
Speaker 1:You went to Spain, yeah, with the kids. Wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's a process.
Speaker 1:I do want to also note give yourself grace, right? Natalie and I are a very good example, in a sense, where it took us a very long time to be where we're at. Like it's not night and day, it's not like you're not just going to go to therapy and have a aha moment and fix yourself right. You have to really spend time, do the work, dig deep into those feelings, understand the why, what happened? How can you become a better version of yourself? And here we are, you know, a couple of years later, and we're acknowledging the growth. But it took us a minute to get there. So, if anyone is in the thick of it, right, give yourself grace, allow yourself to feel those feelings and just be gentle to yourself. Right, because in the future you're going to reflect, like Natalie and I have, and you're going to say I did grow or I did get through a really hard part in my life and I'm proud of myself. So we're proud of you. It's just like we're proud of ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's using the opportunity. So I truly believe, like finding your peace and protecting your peace is so important for me, it was like I haven't. When I separated, my focus was solely me and solely my kids, like I wasn't dating, I wasn't seeking any of that, because that wasn't important to me, because I knew that there was a lot of feeling that I needed to do. So what I'm getting at is it takes time and when you find yourself in opportunities to see glimpses of your past self, to remember all the hard work that you've done and continue Like it's something that you have to work on every day, like I found myself recently in a situation where I got upset and I needed to hone in on the piece that I needed to that I've been maintaining and it's a journey and it's ongoing, continuous, and it's forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:But don't discourage yourself that you know it's always going to be this way, Cause it's not. You're going to find your healing, You're going to find your peace, but you have to like work from inside out, I agree completely. But you have to like work from inside out, I agree completely. Yes, so okay. So that wrapped up those letters. I think that that's a great exercise. I think I might actually even we've been writing a lot of letters recently, I mean between you and your maid of honor speech letters for ourselves, each other, family members. I think it's a great, a great thing to do, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a good exercise, right, like I mean well, and I also feel like, too, like ever since I've been picking up reading, I feel like my writing capabilities have has gotten better because you're expanding your knowledge, right You're, you're reading new words, you're reading ways of like you know, it's just, it's just really cute and funny, because the other day I was helping you out with the kids and I had a book, of course, and I was reading and one of your boys was like does reading make you smart? And I was like you know, I was like it helps broaden your vocabulary, it helps with your imagination. I think it's a good way to spend time. You know it's like a fun activity, right, and once you find enjoyment in it, like yeah, it could be, you know it could make you smart.
Speaker 1:And he was like, well, then you must be really smart, because you read a lot and I was like, yeah, I mean I love reading and I have this cute little. My girlfriend, jessica, got me this like book sleeve that allows me to take my books everywhere to like not damage my book. And it's so funny because the sleeve says book boyfriends God's apology to real men, yeah, and I just always laugh at it because it's like so funny and true, like we all have our book boyfriends. But so I always am carrying my book in my little book sleeve and I'm reading. I try to read all the time, which I've mentioned before Natalie, and I have mentioned before that's a hobby we do, it's an escape for us. And or, that's a hobby we do, it's an escape for us. And while we've been lagging, maybe, on our book goals, we still are reading when we can. So that's improved.
Speaker 2:Our letter writing skills, our writing skills because we've been killing it in the writing department. Yeah, yeah. So we highly encourage you to write a letter to yourself, currently praising yourself, or even a letter to your past self yeah, absolutely and using that as healing. But I think that wraps up episode 14.
Speaker 1:genius. Yeah, absolutely. Again, if you haven't tuned in to previous episodes, be sure to listen to that. We are wrapping up season one, so we'll have two, three more episodes after this or no. Two more episodes after this. I keep on getting that confused. I have it somewhere written down but, of course, now that I need it in front of me, I keep on forgetting. But we are looking forward to having those last episodes to recap the season, the year, everything, et cetera. But so much love to all of our listeners and the support we've received because it truly is consistent and ongoing. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Yes, we love you guys. As always, we will just end the episode saying if you love our podcast, share it with your friends, write us a review and maybe you'll hear us shout you out on our season recap at the end of the month. But I hope you guys have a great weekend and we will talk to you next week. Okay, bye everyone to you next week.
Speaker 1:Okay, Bye everyone, Bye guys.
Speaker 2:Toodle.
